So Much for Love

As I promised myself the last time, I'll tackle love.Now, love is a quaint business.I many a times flattered myself with the cliched soft sensation and all the rest.But, sometime or the other the bubble burst and I was out in the open with nothing as I wished it to be.Nah,never in love.I spend my days listening to the cute tales of my friends' love lives, browsing through their pictures(feeling their happiness),reading Jane Austen,dreaming a lot more than I ought to do and getting a lot fatter than I would like to admit.But there is a lovely thing about dreaming(when you can afford to do it),dreaming about good times and things to come.I watch fruitless romances with baited breath and a gallon of tears(of joy) to accompany in the end.I sigh and gasp and smile and dance(sometimes)when they meet each other in the end.I like to think that I am in love too!!with this ..what should I call it??...this vision.That is how I like it.


I think love is too delicate a sentiment to come out of an old book, or a good painting, or an Austen romance, and merry songs and actually thrive in the real world.Go on eat off my head all you people "violently" in love.But, somethings are just too good to be true.It is a muse to the artist: love can actually make you happy,very happy.But that is as long as you keep it to yourself;the minute a someone enters, the magic is gone,the charm vanishes and many things much less divine try to substitute.Now, will that keep love ,love?There is this poem, one of my favourites by a certain someone we were taught to like in our graduation classes.It goes something like this:
I WHISPERED, "I am too young,"
And then, "I am old enough;"
Wherefore I threw a penny
To find out if I might love.

"Go and love, go and love, young man,
If the lady be young and fair."
Ah, penny, brown penny, brown penny,
I am looped in the loops of her hair.

O love is the crooked thing,
There is nobody wise enough
To find out all that is in it,
For he would be thinking of love.

Till the stars had run away
And the shadows eaten the moon.
Ah, penny, brown penny, brown penny,
One cannot begin it too soon.

Now, it doesnot really matter if you have heard of a mad fellow Yeats and Maud Gonne or not,also it doesnot matter whether we have been in love or not...we can all understand the feelings of this frustrated, failed, crossed lover.It is universal ,though not real for everyone.For me love feeds on the ideal.That is how I'll let it be: a quaint, framed picture on my bedside desk, that I love to look at now and then.

P.S:????

The 'Yaaaay' Factor

Waking up at noon is a rare luxury. And guess what, I have been blessed with that rarity. Yay! I have an off today..yes the most sought after, truly, sincerely loved 24 hours in two weeks. Like always having so much time at hand makes me super confused about how to use it. So, I got up real late, took a oil massage, and now I am writing my blog with my feet dipped in luke warm water and herbal essence.

There are so many little things that just so make your day. specially when these are unplanned and happen by-the-way. Like only last night when I returned from a real tiring day past mid-night, I was so beyond happy to see food and a can of chilled beer waiting for me. But, the Yay factor was that there were two more cans waiting to be opened beside mine.Oh yes, Brish and Tee too didn't touch theirs'. Now, I am the least finicky person when it comes to display of care and emotions and the usual blah. However, that gesture touched me. So, we cracked the cans open, got some grub and smoked the last of our stock before calling it a night.

Again, day before yesterday, I attended my first Hindi journalism lecture. There had been three previous lectures for the same with assignments and marks. Since I didn't attend I didn't know how to write the assignments. However, when I spoke to the faculty, he let me write them in the class. Guess what, he loved what I had written and complimented me on my lingustic skills. Not to forget he gave me high ratings too.Yay!!

Food makes people happy, and love makes them at peace. Thankgod I have them both. Though the supplies dwindle at times, I have learnt how to make the best of what I have. That reminds me, Lunch awaits!! I have to meet the two. Playing the harbinger of good binging today..(carrying the ghee that is).. Bon Appetite to all :) :)

Mid-Nite Madness

With all the air around us crackling with tension, and all our muscles (the brain cells included, well, MAJORLY) getting over-worked, it was beginning to show. Apart from bouts of unexplainable moodiness, we were all gripped by a certain restless air( that rendered us incapable of using our time in anything fruitful or otherwise). We would just remain very, very worked up. We had to find a way to reelAx. Now being in a so-called metropolitan set-up one would assume us to be spoilt for choice. Not that they weren't there. But, then not quite. So, Trish and I drew up a list of things to do.

1) Running away to Goa

2) Taking the dance floor by storm

3) Shop...shop…shop

4) Paint n decorate our room

5) What else....Sleep!

Well, good work there, I must say. But, each of these had some or the other problem with it. I'm sure we come across as finicky, choosy and spoilt. Trust me We Wish!! Sigh!


We could not decide for sure which one to choose. So, we sit down to watch a film. Dil Chahta Hai, it is. The one film that changed the concepts of Bollywood film making. Everything was going pretty fine, unless Aakash shows up at Sam's and they go to..G.O.A....The bug bit us three so instantaneously and so without caution that we fell for it. It was around 2 in the night and we were scurrying up and down to pack our bags. The plan was made while running. It went something like 2 days- 3 nights...some shack on Baga Beach...Tickets by tomorrow afternoon.

Now, let me tell you why it seems like a crazy idea(apart from the obvious reasons). Though we had kept Goa as an option, we knew we were kidding ourselves. Attendance is a major problem and I among the three have a percentage dangling at just about safe mark. So, No missing lectures for me. The rest has assignments and the usual blah.

But, something about the film inspired us so much, that we just packedd!
(To be continued)

Saying Cheese & maybe a bit more...

Life is a bitch sometimes...No, all the time, I say...at least in the recent past. There is just so much activity (mostly mindless) that one is left with no thought by the end of the day. Sometimes I feel as if one doesn't have to wait for 2012 to witness the Doomsday. Career Calamity (C2) is on the strike and is nearly dismantling lives…in form of a meteor-rain(read: assignments & projectile projects), OR the Ten Plagues of Egypt(read: bad weather, no hot-water in the shower, gross food in the mess, no cash left(broke is becoming my permanent status now...Well, all puns intended), pending work, low attendance(and a possible TNG...Term Not Granted for the uninitiated), add to the previous-no possibility of a vacation, irrational authorities, SWINE flu, and a health regime that sometimes becomes too hard to persist on) ...There is more I can add to that list. However, I shall resist the temptation considering the fragility of my nerves at this particular moment. Well, that kind of happens every time I sit down to ponder over this stupid, timeless, tyrannical and unsolvable topic called LIFE....(*Sticks her tongue out in a desperate attempt to put down the antagonist)

Last night...or was it the night before??? Anyways, one of these two nights, we were having a go at our regular random ramblings. It started at the very same point of 'problems'(we three are pretty competent research students...we believe in applying a process even to randomness), and followed the trajectory of why's and how's and the rest(see, we are good at logic too. Huh! What did I tell you!). What followed was the following:
a) We were not happy
b) We did not quite have any particular reason for it
c) We were still un-happy(tell me you expected a new point!But WTF I'll write what I felt+ I am not a magician to conjure up new tricks)

Brish is shuffling, (sometimes comfortably, and sometimes a little differently) in her relationship. Tee doesn't want one, and I, well I am on a break(that can mean a lot of things beyond the obvious). Besides, we are on the lookout for projects(a sinister compulsory module in our curriculum). The above mentioned list of BADs is always there and then there is a mind numbing silence(not literally, but, well). My boyfriend(sorry, my on-break boyfriend) likes to call it the search for Peace. Exactly, we are looking for peace and the resultant happiness. We all came from varied backgrounds and conditioned environments to this experimental gene-pool of vague talent being prepared for the media industry. And guess what we simply 'lost it'. In the rat-race, we left our old selves and ran after dreams of neon lights, glamour and money.
It felt great and self-gratifying for a while. But, we are old now(only in this system, if you know what I mean...*Checks herself in the little mirror) and certain things matter more than certain other things.

While all this was cooking up in our conversation, I bluntly declared that I wanted to be happy and the only thing that could help was being a part of a wedding party.. I wanted lights and loud music, happy hustle-bustle, fragrance in the air, fireworks in the sky, flowers everywhere and the rest of the picture. Now why did I say that? For one because I really wanted it, and another as I wanted to see how the both answer out of it. Brish went on wrapping around my being prone to conditioning life. The speech rolled on the well-known concepts of not being dependent on external factors for happiness. No expectations for living and the non-living was the mantra.

We later planned a picnic, just like that. It had been one hec of an era since I last went for one. While on our way back to our rooms from the walk (Well, all this was during one lazy night walk), we found how just one smile from us can make someone's day. While walking on the pavement, just try smiling at anyone you make eye-contact with. See how good it feels to be. This, I thought might just help in a routine where grumpy faces have become a part of everyday affair. I tried it and though it did not make a hell of a difference, it did something. Got me a smile from someone I had never known or tried to know. I might just take this to the next level, and help someone on roadsides (someone looking for an address or something). Being good just feels so Right, and Nice.
Signing off
The Temporary (trial-period on) Good Angel :)
Say Cheese!

Take a Bow...

Ideally this should start from the beginning. But, since it has been a long time since the clapboard struck, middle is where we are. By WE I meant, me and two of my girlies...Brish(for Brishti) & Trish(for Trisha). Did I tell you I have always found these names strange? It is almost as if these were pseudo names... Maybe they are. Brish is my roommate for almost three months now. Before moving in together, we were friends for a year. The other one, I got in as a Free gift with Brish. She is her college mate. If I go by the book, all three of us are poles apart(not to be taken literally or you lie in the danger of geographical dysfunctionality). Yes, umm, well we are all quite different. But, everyone has some bits common. We too are. Apart from being duped into taking up a media course(that instead of adding real value to our CVs has only reduced it from our bank accounts), we all have similar complications in life (well, on the forefront atleast), the same mother tongue, confused moralities (that keeps shuttling between varied extremes), a thing with men(that we never seem to come out of) and, and ,and shoes.

Being a Twenty-first Century Chick(TCC) is a strange ride... especially when everyday we fight our demons(confused demons), try and take oaths(that are broken the very next day) and come to terms with reality(the kind where...well...leave it..too hard to explain..and I'm kinda bored too). So, here's to all those who belong to the fraternity. And to pseudo-moral opinion-makers, all I want to say is ** *****.