'I do'-Not

Last night I got a call from one of my classmates from Graduation days. Was I surprised? Well, yes. But, more so because the reason she called me all these years later was that she was getting married!!! Well, surprised? Shocked? Quite. Rather expectedly, she went on to narrate the little (read unnecessary) details of where they both met…and how he was… and how great things were. Like any other “madly in love” couple they had decided to solemnize their relationship. I don’t know if it was funny (but definitely was ironic) that the next time I took a call it declared a separation. So, how does this marriage thing work? When does the “bond” becomes the “binding”? Is every other person tying the knot, tying it around their necks? And most importantly, do we need to follow the usual path to be happy?


You find it all the time, and mostly in marriage functions. People (read society aunties) give their not-so-trifle tit-bits about your age and marital status. As it appears, everything is co-related. Teenage is supposed to be for studies and honing your skills and getting a career sorted. But, by the time you landed with a job and started taking it really seriously, the wedding bells come ringing. And if your parents are unfortunate enough as to not be able to get you hitched even after the decent age of 25, hear the alarm bells ringing!! It’s almost like you are carrying the beacon on your head and every time your mother coaxes into a family function you become the official recipient of the tragic looks and tut-ings and shaking of the heads…which is meant to wake your sleepy marriage gene up and also your lack of responsibility…towards what exactly? Towards you family..the society...the human race! Really now?


The question is what if you are not meant for marriage or the other way round?? Why does everything in this world have to work in tandem with the set rules? And who set these rules? Does the only need of human togetherness come down to conception and reproduction and continuing the race? Why can’t two people be together for the sake of being together? Why get into legal boundaries and such complexities? Now, some may find me commitment phobic or worse still, westernized pseudo-radical. However, my queries are simple. Remember school? When a task given was made compulsory, it became mundane and seemed forced on. Similarly, marriage. Why make it compulsory that you have to be with so and so and abide by duties that follow…??? Why not stick to ‘Love it, Live it’?


Most marriages I have been to seem like the couple are getting sanctions from the family members and witnesses from the clan so that one couldn’t leave the other without facing the wrath of a whole lot of people.
Sanctity of marriage is another thing now. Fidelity is dead (and you thought it was only chivalry). After having seen a whole bunch of married people frustrated and seeking solace is someone else, I think all that remained in a marriage that made it special has been stripped off. So, where does one go? Does life have to have this set course? It always seemed to me like marriage and making babies was the ultimate everyone looked at? Well, what after that? Do we cease to be ourselves? Or do we become the resource people for the next generation?


It is not like there aren’t any happy married couples…only that happiness asks for a lot. Who give some, you get some. No two people were made to fit in perfectly. Rough edges always appear sooner or later, and then follows cool compromise. When I look at the four of us, I see confusions, problems, ambition and a near-messed-up life. But, I would never give it all up for the ‘M’ word. Striding in my stilettoes, I know it’s a long long way before I smile for my own wedding pic (if ever).